Article prepared by Wally Lazaruk, March 2023
“When we treat others with respect and caring, the best in them usually comes out.
Much the same would happen if we could treat ourselves the same way.”– Rick Hanson, Ph.D.
In the Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 program, Dr. Rick Hanson helps participants to learn and practice 12 inner strengths/mental resources to deal with challenges in life. Inner strengths include self-compassion, mindfulness, learning, resilience, gratitude,
confidence, calm, motivation, intimacy, courage, aspiration and generosity.
In discussing the inner strength of compassion, Dr. Hanson focuses on four skills: being for yourself, having compassion for yourself, finding acceptance, and enjoying life. Some of the key attitudes and actions related to each skill are summarized below:
Be for yourself
Stand up for yourself.
Respect, encourage and support yourself.
Be determined and strong.
Act like your inner experience of life matters.
Be more disciplined.
Let go of obstacles that prevent you from progressing.
Get the support you need.
Take care of your own needs so that you have more to offer others.
Be more virtuous.
Trust your judgment.
Have compassion for yourself
Treat yourself as a friend.
Show yourself respect and care.
Express good will towards yourself. Encourage yourself to do your best.
Recognize suffering, show concern and feel warm-heartedness.
Help reduce the suffering if you can for others and for yourself.
Feel cared about by those who love you, such as family and friends.
Feel caring, tender concern, for other people who are suffering or struggling with something. Say: “May you not suffer.” “May you be at peace with this pain.”
Apply this caring, goodwill and support to yourself. Be aware of your pain and open to it. Express compassion for conditions that will not change. Say to yourself: “May I not suffer.” “May this pain lessen.” “May I be at peace with this loss.” “May I not worry as much about that.”
Recognize the sense of common humanity. Everyone experiences difficulties, pain, illness, challenges and conflicts. Be kind to yourself.
Find acceptance
Accept what is real. Consider all the facts in difficult situations. State what is true without approving, preferring, or agreeing.
Accept that certain things happened in your life and you cannot change them. Let that be the case.
Consider the parts you like and the parts that you dislike about yourself: qualities, attitudes, behaviors…
Accept yourself as you are. Feel acceptance.
Explore the facts that many people appreciate, like, or otherwise value about you.
Open to well-deserved feelings of self-worth.
Remember your inherent goodness. Act in good ways.
Recognize goodness in others and build the good in the world that you share with others.
Accept that which you are trying to heal or grow. Acceptance is the first step toward changing it.
Think of all the true things around you and about yourself that you can accept.
Take in the feeling of acceptance for several breaths.
Enjoy Life
Enjoy the experiences of what you are trying to grow in yourself.
Motivate yourself to do something by focusing on what is enjoyable about it.
Help yourself to be more engaged in a situation by looking for things that are enjoyable about the situation.
Note examples of enjoyment such as seeing something beautiful, tasting something you like, drinking water when you are thirsty, being interested in, and feeling nourished by something.
Be aware of blocks to enjoyment such as fear, letting your guard down, not wanting to draw criticism from others or being conditioned that it is not appropriate for you to enjoy something.
Find something to enjoy whatever the outer circumstances of your life.
Notice enjoyable experiences you are already having.
Create enjoyable experiences.
Observe what could be enjoyable that you may not yet enjoying.
Recognize any way in which you’re blocking yourself from enjoying things. Try to let that go and allow yourself to enjoy the moment.
Ask yourself: “What are some things in my daily life that I already find enjoyable? Are there opportunities to increase my enjoyment each day? What are some things that I may be experiencing each day that I could get more enjoyment from, or may be missing out on?”
Think of a time recently when you were enjoying something. What felt rewarding about it?
Identify something you can enjoy each day, and make a goal to spend a little extra time internalizing it.
“Nurturing your own development isn’t selfish. It’s actually a great gift to other people.”
— Rick Hanson, Ph.D.
Prepared by: Wally Lazaruk, March 2023
References:
Rick Hanson, https://www.rickhanson.net
The Foundations of Well-Being Online Course – Dr. Rick Hanson
https://www.rickhanson.net › Online Courses
