Forgiveness

Forgiveness – An important life skill

Forgiveness is a process in which we extend kindness and compassion to someone who has harmed us. We make an intentional decision to let go of resentment and anger for the pain we experienced and create space for healing and growth.

Forgiveness helps us to heal emotionally and move on from past suffering. It brings about a sense of peace and closure without requiring that we forget, condone or excuse the offence. We learn from our past experiences and focus on the present moment and the positive aspects of our lives. We become more empathetic and compassionate toward others.

To forgive others, we assess and acknowledge the wrongs we have done and how they have affected others. Without judging ourselves too harshly, we reach out to those we have harmed and express our sincere sorrow or regret. We ask for forgiveness without making excuses. We commit to treating others with compassion and respect.

To practice self-forgiveness, we acknowledge our mistakes and take responsibility for them. We feel appropriate remorse and d0 what we can to make things better. We strive to learn from our mistakes so they do not happen again. We appreciate ourselves for actions taken.

When it is difficult to forgive someone, we can practice empathy and try to see the situation from the other person’s point of view. What circumstances may have led the other person to behave in a particular way? How would we have reacted if we faced the same situation? We can also reflect on times when others have forgiven us. Writing in a journal, practicing guided meditations or talking with a trustworthy and wise person are others ways of dealing with challenges in forgiving someone.

We can strive to be “forgivingly fit” by committing to do no harm and refraining from negative talk about people. We value our common humanity and recognize that every person is unique and worthy. In everyday encounters, we show warm-heartedness toward everyone and practice small acts of kindness. Through forgiveness, we contribute to the restoration and healing of both individuals and community.

As forgiveness is a process that takes time, patience and determination, we are kind to ourselves and accept ourselves as we are. We treat ourselves as we would treat a good friend. We surround ourselves with friendly and wise people who support us and who have the patience to let us heal in our own way. We value humility to remind us that we can make mistakes, learn from them and continue to grow.

“Forgiveness is a gift to yourself. It frees you from the past, past experiences, and past relationships. It allows you to live in the present time. When you forgive yourself and forgive others, you are indeed free.” – Louise Hay

Prepared by Wally Lazaruk, March 17, 2024

See example forgiveness prayer below:

The Buddhist Prayer of Forgiveness If I have harmed any one in any way, either knowingly or unknowingly through my own confusions, I ask their forgiveness.

If anyone has harmed me in any way, either knowingly or unknowingly through their own confusions, I forgive them.

And if there is a situation I am not yet ready to forgive, I forgive myself for that.

For all the ways that I harm myself, negate, doubt, belittle myself, judge or be unkind to myself, through my own confusions, I forgive myself. Amen.

References:

Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 – Rick Hanson, PhD

Dr. Rick Hanson

https://rickhanson.com › online-courses › the-foundatio…

Eight Essentials When Forgiving | Practice

Greater Good in Action

https://ggia.berkeley.edu › practice › eight_essentials_w…